40-year-old Nathan from Clarence Town says he probably wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for a chance meeting with Paula, a Care Connect Program Worker, in a hospital elevator.
Nathan spent three months in a regional NSW hospital when he was diagnosed with FND, Functional Neurological Disease.
“Literally, I woke up one morning, and I couldn’t move my whole left arm. I couldn’t turn my head to the left. And yeah, it took three months to diagnose it and to get my arm working again,” Nathan said.
During his stay in hospital, he was trying to come to terms with his health condition, but Nathan also struggled with anxiety, stress, and isolation. Without family or friends close, he says he found himself in an impossibly dark place. When he then lost his home due to his prolonged absence in hospital Nathan said, “It felt like my whole world was coming down.”
“I won’t lie, if it wasn’t for Paula, I think things might have went a different way, because I kept asking for support while I was in hospital. I never got it. It was just that chance meeting with her one day in a lift at the hospital, and everything literally just turned around.”
Paula works for Social Futures Care Connect Program, an after-care support service for people at risk or, or who have previously attempted suicide.
“She literally approached me out of nowhere in the elevator,” Nathan said. “She came and sat on the bed with me, and we had a good talk. From there, we formed a really close bond. She still talks to me to this day.”
With his only family living more than 200km away in Wollongong, Nathan had no visitors during his hospital stay. “On the days Paula came up, it was a huge highlight,” he said.
Paula was also able to provide practical assistance, connecting Nathan with a skilled counsellor, helping him with shopping after his discharge, and encouraging him to persevere through the darkest moments of his recovery.
“When I was like “**** this, I’m giving up”, she was the one person who stuck by me and said, ‘No, you’re seeing this through.’”
Suicide is the leading cause of death for Australian men aged 15-44, and many men delay, or avoid seeking help altogether. Social isolation, stigma, and lacking access to services, especially in regional and rural areas, remain major barriers.
“There’s this idea that if you’re a bloke, you should be able to handle it. But you have no idea how hard it is for men to talk about that kind of stuff, you know. Because there’s that stigma, it makes you look weak. It makes you look sorry for yourself. It’s not that at all…but sometimes, you just can’t get out of your own headspace,” Nathan said.
With Paula’s support, Nathan found a full-time job on a permaculture farm, including onsite accommodation, which became a turning point in his life. Today, he is loving his job, is part of a supportive community and is in a budding relationship. “Life has done a massive one-eighty,” he said. “I’m back in my element again.”
Now a strong advocate for support programs like Care Connect, Nathan actively encourages others to reach out.
“I tell people when we talk at the pub and at the Bowling Club, ‘Don’t ever think you’re alone. I was in your boat and mate; I came out the other side. It’s hard, but there are people like Paula who can help during those dark stages.’”
“I’ll talk up Paula and Social Futures any day of the week,” he said. “They’re doing absolutely brilliant work.
“When I finished working with Paula and filled out the paperwork, I wrote at the very end, ‘give Paula a raise’. She deserves it. Make sure you put that in the article. The amount of care and support from someone literally on a chance meeting – I couldn’t believe it.”
Social Futures is a leading community service organisation that connects people to the support they need when they need it. To contact Social Futures, call 1800 719 625.
Care Connect is delivered by Social Futures and funded by the Hunter New England Central Coast Primary Health Network
